Passive aggressive

I hope your clothes are always soggy,
That every night at 3am you piss yourself with worry.
I hope the waitress you make fun of spits in your iced coffee.
I hope a pigeon shits on your new suit,
I hope your hairline recedes and a unibrow comes through.
And when you’re bursting for a piss, I hope the line’s long.
I hope you find the love of your life, but the time’s wrong.
I hope you pour yourself a lovely bowl of cereal only to find out that the milk’s off, bitch.